What Should I Think About During EMDR?

Understanding EMDR Therapy

Eye-movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy is unlike traditional talk therapies in a variety of ways. While there is some talking involved, including opening up about your history and focusing on your anxious or distressing thoughts, the focus is on reprocessing those thoughts through bilateral stimulation.

Your therapist will guide your eye movements back and forth as you focus on those thoughts, but if you're not familiar with EMDR or what to expect, that idea can feel a little overwhelming or even confusing. What are you actually supposed to think about?

This is one of the most common questions clients ask when beginning their EMDR journey, and it's completely understandable. Whether you're considering EMDR for anxiety, exploring EMDR for depression, or seeking healing from past experiences, knowing what to focus on during sessions can help you feel more prepared and confident as you begin this transformative therapeutic process.

Focusing on a Target

Your therapist can help you find focus for selecting EMDR targets

Throughout your EMDR sessions, your therapist will have you focus on a specific targeted memory or thought. For people utilizing EMDR for trauma, it isn't always easy to "go back" and focus on the traumatic experience you had to go through. But your therapist will be with you every step of the way, guiding you through the experience in a safe setting.

Sometimes the target is obvious: if you’ve suffered a recent trauma and you are experiencing acute symptoms such as feeling afraid all of the time, having intrusive thoughts about the trauma, having difficulty sleeping and concentrating. Whatever recent event caused the trauma will likely be a target for EMDR therapy.

But sometimes, people are starting to realize that their daily lives are still being affected by trauma that occurred years ago, such as child abuse, bullying, or an unhealthy relationship. It can seem difficult to know where to start with these types of traumas, but your EMDR therapist can help guide you to find the most effective targets for processing complex trauma. Usually a good EMDR target has a clear visual memory, a clear negative belief about yourself, clear emotions attached to it, and clear physical sensations associated with the memory. It can be helpful if this memory also generalizes to other areas of your life.

This targeted approach is what makes EMDR therapy so effective for various mental health challenges. Whether you're working through EMDR for complex trauma, processing a significant loss with EMDR for grief, or addressing other emotional difficulties, the method remains consistent: identifying and reprocessing specific memories that are contributing to your current distress.

Each session will likely focus on a different targeted memory or thought. You should think about those things during the desensitization and reprocessing periods. As you become desensitized to the memory or thought, you'll be able to change your perspective on it. The purpose of EMDR isn't to make these thoughts disappear. It's to shift the way you see them so they don't have so much control over you.

For younger clients engaging in EMDR for teens, therapists may adapt the targeting process to be more age-appropriate, using creative methods to help identify and process difficult memories without overwhelming them. The core principle remains the same regardless of age: finding the memories that need attention and allowing your brain's natural healing processes to do their work.

What if the idea of EMDR sounds scary?

Sometimes the fear of trying EMDR comes from the fear of the unknown and imagining worst case scenarios. Sometimes the fear is your body’s intuition telling you that you are not ready for this. If you feel that you want to try EMDR but you are not ready, you and your therapist can make a plan to work up to trying EMDR together. As your therapist learns more about your fears, your supports, and your strengths, they can find targets that are less distressing, or take a big target and break it down into little pieces that are more manageable.

We can also do resourcing, which is basically using EMDR to enhance something good instead of using EMDR to desensitize something too disturbing to process. Some of our EMDR therapists are also trained in a protocol called The Flash Technique, which was developed especially for addressing trauma targets that feel too overwhelming to process with regular EMDR.

Our therapists have lots of creative tricks for helping clients make doing EMDR feel manageable. But, there is a big difference between “I want to do this but I am scared” and “I don’t want to do this.” If you don’t want to do EMDR, we respect your choices. EMDR is just one of many treatment options available for addressing PTSD.

Know What to Expect

Your therapist will talk to you about the EMDR process and what to expect as you go through your sessions. Every therapist has a different way of using bilateral stimulation. Some will move their finger back and forth. Others might use an object or even make a tapping sound.

At first you might feel confused and overwhelmed with all of the different stimulus. Taxing the working memory is actually part of what makes EMDR so effective. But, your therapist will work with you to find the right level of stimulus to get the effect of EMDR without feeling totally overwhelmed. In time, you get used to doing EMDR and it begins to flow naturally. You can instead focus on your specific memory or thought without getting caught up in the process itself. If you start to feel overwhelmed, talk to your therapist about it. Together, you can work on establishing a safe space in your mind that you can use to calm down and feel more grounded.

Trust the Process

EMDR is a unique experience in the world of therapy. Again, it’s different from many traditional forms of talk therapy. So, developing a positive, healthy relationship with your therapist is important. You’re handing over some of the deepest, most negative thoughts and memories possible. That can feel overwhelming at first. Always work with a therapist who prioritizes your comfort every step of the way.

The right therapist will make it easier to trust the entire EMDR process. You might end up experiencing emotions you haven’t felt in a very long time. It’s okay to let those come to the surface. That’s what happens when you don’t force certain thoughts or memories and instead let them come naturally. It’s a healing process, but because EMDR is a relatively short-term therapy, you’re likely to see results quickly.

If you’re interested in learning more about EMDR therapy or have specific questions, don’t hesitate to reach out. I’m happy to provide more information or set up a consultation.